Driving lessons!
by Fire Coral
Summary: Ryou makes Bakura take driving lessons! Review if you like!
1. The beginning

Driving Lessons!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything in this story except for Bakura's diary, and I know it's short but I can't think of what to write but review if you like!

It was a clear Saturday morning and Ryou was up bright and early fixing breakfast for himself and Bakura who had just clumsily fallen down the stairs…

"Morning Bakura! Did you sleep well?" Ryou asked as Bakura pondered for an answer.

"Yeah whatever, now where's my breakfast Ryou?" Bakura grumbled back stumbling over to the dining table and plunking himself down into a comfy chair.

"Well Bakura I have something to tell you," Ryou said a little nervously, ignoring Bakura's last comment!

"Yeah, what?" Bakura replied munching hungrily on his toast.

"Well you see Yami-

"Ryou I'm warning you I do not want to have my day spoilt by having to listen to you talk about Yami and how great and cool he is, cause I just want to inform you that back in my day (ancient Egypt) I was the cool one at least I looked hotter than that pathetic, useless pharaoh, Ahem, what I am trying to get through your thick head is that I really, absolutely, do NOT want to even hear Yami's name. Have I made myself perfectly clear Ryou?" Bakura said folding his arms across his chest and putting on a sour face!

Ryou just sighed and ignored him!

"As I was saying Yami knows how to drive a car, you know the transport device," Ryou exclaimed, "And I was thinking that perhaps you should learn how to drive one, it might actually come in handy Bakura, so what do you think?"

"Personally I think that it is a complete waste of my precious time and that you may have a screw loose in that head of yours," stated Bakura attempting to bash Ryou on the head!

"Bakura would you please stop trying to hit me and you have to learn to drive whether you like it or not because I've enrolled you in a driving course and you begin tomorrow, oh and by the way if you don't go to the driving course you will be spending an entire month at Yami and Yugi's house so basically you have no choice. Have a nice day Bakura!" Ryou said getting up from the table and walking up to his room while Bakura took everything in!

'_What the….Ryou's enrolled_ _me in some stupid driving course. Grrr I'll get him back for this but right now I think that it's time to go and write in Mr. Diary!'_

So Bakura walked calmly up the stairs and strolled into his bedroom where he sat down at his desk and opened his very precious diary!

_Hello Mr. Diary._

_My name is Bakura and I know I haven't written in you before but I just haven't had anything to write about-until now that is. _

_You see my very annoying hikari is going to make me take a stupid and very pointless course I might add. _

_What is the course, well I'll tell you it's a DRIVING COURSE I mean jeez when am I going to use one of those stupid transport devices? _

_Oh crap Ryou's coming and he has no idea that I write in a diary and if he finds out he'll blab about it to Yugi and then Yami will find out and then I will be a laughingstock, so I have to go Mr. Diary…_

_Bye for now…_

"Bakura have you thought about what I said?" Ryou asked walking into Bakura's bedroom which was very untidy!

"Yes Ryou I have thought about this coughpatheticcough driving course of yours and I decided to take it!" Exclaimed Bakura smiling at Ryou who just huffed and walked out of the room!

Well that's the first chappie, I hope you enjoyed it and I'll try to write more soon!


	2. The lesson

I'm back with another chapter and thanks to everyone who's reviewed.

Disclaimer: Don't own anything. Enjoy! And I know you can't pass a driving test and get a driving license in one lesson but let's pretend you can!

It was the next Saturday – the day of Bakura's first driving lesson and Ryou was about ready to tear his own hair out…

"Oh My God, this wasn't a good idea, I mean what if you drive the instructor insane or..or worse you actually pass the course and then try to run Yami over?!" Ryou clearly wasn't his normal, calm self this morning.

"Hmmm, running Yami over, thanks for the idea Ryou!" Bakura replied lazily as he switched the channel on the t.v.

DING, DONG!

"ARGGHH!!"

"I'll get it then," muttered Bakura. "Geez, you'd think someone had tortured you with the way your acting Ryou, keep it up and I'll up your happy pills,"

Once Bakura had opened the door he was face to face with a seemingly normal looking, middle-aged driving instructor.

"Good morning, are you Mr. Bakura?" He asked politely.

"Who wants to know?" Replied Bakura boredly, staring at his nails.

"Uh, my name is Mr. Pane and I'm here to give a Mr. Bakura driving lessons,"

"Ohh, well why didn't you say so, Pane, come on in! I'm Mr. Bakura, but you can call me Bakura," Bakura gestured widely for Mr. Pane to come inside and as he did so he noticed Ryou, huddled in a corner, looking petrified about something and almost insane.

"Is he…alright?" Mr. Pane asked cautiously, looking from Bakura, who had a big grin, to Ryou, still huddled in the corner, mumbling nonsense to himself.

Bakura had an apprehensive look on his face before he shook it off and replied, "yes, yes. He does that often, it's like his security blanket that wall. Ah, good times. Well, enough strolling down memory lane, we better get going," Bakura quickly pushed Mr. Pane out the door while whipping his head around to Ryou and evil glaring him to Timbuktu. "Ryou. I'm going to my dri-vi-ng le-ss-on now, I'll see you soon," he added in a whisper, "call Yami and I'll tell everyone about how you secretly use blush,"

As Bakura was almost out the door Ryou spoke out, "say that and I'll tell everyone you sleep with stuffed teddy-bears. Bye Bakura, have fun!" Bakura's face contorted into mixed shapes consisting of humiliation, terror and dread! At that he dragged Mr. Pane quickly to the car.

It was 15 minutes into the lesson and already the instructor was gripping tightly to his seat while trying to instruct Bakura. He made a mental note that if he survived he would retire and move to Hawaii.

"Uh, ok Bakura, now I want you to put the car into park because we're going to stop just over here," said Mr. Pane pointing to his right.

Unfortunately for Mr. Pane, Bakura wasn't really taking much notice, he was too busy thinking up different ways he could run Yami over, so he only got back into focus when he heard his instructor screaming hysterically and saw that if he didn't slow down he would crash into a very mean looking pole.

"ARGGGHHH!!!!" Screamed Bakura as he slammed on the brakes just in time.

Mr. Pane was just sitting there, looking utterly terrified and glued to his seat.

Bakura didn't seem take much notice of him, "So what's next?"

"Uhh, well, you see on the list it says cone driving is next but uhh if you don't –

"Cone driving it is then," Bakura interrupted and somehow managed to drive away at a speed that would most likely let a cop retire without killing anyone.

When Bakura and Mr. Pane arrived at the cone course Mr. Pane looked as if he was about to throw up. "I really think we should just go and see if the person's alright. What if you've killed them?"

"And I really think that you should just SHUT UP!! Jeez, do you _want_ to be sent to the shadow realm?" Bakura's patience had almost run out, if Ryou were here he would've been surprised that it lasted this long! Mr. Pane just cowered in seat defensively.

"So I'm guessing that all I have to do is drive through and hit all the cones, right?" Bakura asked.

"Uh..w..well actually –

"_Right?_" Bakura warned, with the best death glare he could muster.

Mr. Pane sighed in defeat, at least no-one said he never tried to help, "right,"

Bakura obviously had no road sense whatsoever because all he did was rev up the car and then speed off down the runway, making sure to hit every single cone on the way.

"So, what next?" Asked Bakura in a seemingly bored manner.

"Nothing, absolutely nothing," Mr. Pane replied hastily.

Bakura merely sighed and took off again this time hitting 3 pedestrians, 2 cats, running through 5 red lights and almost managing to run Tea over on the way home. As Bakura was about to step out of the car, he turned to Mr. Pane, who by this point didn't think anything worse could happen.

"So I pass right?" Bakura asked with mock sincerity.

"Wha-? Uh well I..I," Bakura evil glared at him and bared his teeth, "yes. Yes you've passed. Here," Mr. Pane scribbled down pass on a slip of paper and handed it over to Bakura who grabbed it greedily out of his hands. Bakura looked at the piece of smudged, white paper as if it was the best thing he had ever received; well it probably was considering all the fun things he could do with it. Bakura then looked to Mr. Pane, "thank you very much. Now get lost as I have lots of more important things to do that involve a car, Marik, the pharaoh and a tombstone,"

"Uh…Right, I'll just leave then," stuttered Mr. Pane nervously before quickly backing out of the driveway and speeding down the road.

'_That man should be more careful_ _when he's driving; he could kill someone.' _Bakura thought to himself as he walked up the driveway and in the front door.

Ryou jumped up from his seat on the couch, "Bakura! How was it, did you pass or more importantly did you kill anyone?" He demanded.

"It was good, I passed and no I didn't kill anyone," Bakura replied automatically while thinking, _'I only ran over 4 people and 2 cats, but animals don't count.'_

"Whew, that is such a relief to hear," sighed Ryou, walking into the kitchen.

Bakura knew he'd need to find Marik soon so he made an excuse to Ryou and ran out the front door towards Marik's house. (Ryou had banned Bakura from seeing Marik, saying he had a "bad influence" on Bakura.)

Was it ok? I hope you liked it and that it wasn't too short. Please review and I'll write more! Thanks for reading.


	3. Bakura's new plot

Back again! I'm trying to update quicker so here's another chapter, enjoy and don't forget to review. In this chapter, Malik has a grandmother.

Disclaimer: Don't own anything

After 2 hours of walking around Domino looking for Marik, Bakura had finally managed to find him; chasing squirrels in the park.

"What the…" muttered Bakura, looking at Marik in an oddly scared way.

"Oh! Hey Bakura. How's 'Plot to destroy the pharaoh' coming along?" Asked Marik, having finally given up chasing the squirrels who by this time were planning their own plots against him.

"I flushed that plot down the device used for flushing things," replied Bakura. "And I've come to tell you that I have thought of a new and improved plot that simply cannot fail,"

Marik grinned. "You know what's really funny, when you say you have a plot that can't fail, cause they always seem to end up that way,"

Bakura glared at Marik before continuing. "Are you done critiquing my brilliant plots?" Marik just yawned and stared at the squirrel that was sitting infront of him.

"So what's this new plot of yours then?" Marik asked still completely focused on the squirrel.

"Well I just got my drivers license so, what we do is…" Once Bakura had finished telling Marik of his new brilliant, never fail plot, Marik fell about the ground laughing so hard he started coughing and wheezing. "Good, isn't it?" Asked Bakura proudly.

Marik looked pensive for a second. "Uh, yeah I guess. But where are we gonna get a car, Ryou will kill you if you use his and we have no money," He finished.

Bakura just grinned. "Malik has a car doesn't he?"

Marik looked absolutely aghast. "Ohh no. I refuse; we are _NOT_ using Malik's car. Do you know what he'll do to me? Ugh, I can't bear to think about it, he'd make me…go to his grandmother's place. The women doesn't know the first thing about hygiene let alone how to cook – she almost poisoned me the last time I was there, and I found a _HAIR_ in the soup!! Do you want me to die?" By this point, Marik was in tears on the ground.

"Get up you moron. Firstly, you're a spirit ergo you can't die and secondly, do you really think for one second I could actually care about your problems. Pfft, what do you think I am, a shrink?" Scoffed Bakura, waving his about the air and walking off down the street towards Malik's apartment. "Coming or not?" He called back to Marik, who was still sitting on the ground and now sucking his thumb, before he came to his senses, jumped up and ran after Bakura.

"Alright, you keep watch, while I get the car started and then hop in once I give you this signal," Bakura instructed Marik, giving him a thumbs up signal. Marik nodded solemnly before clumsily jumping up out of his spot from the bushes and tiptoeing as quietly as possible to the edge of the fence to keep an eye out for any passers by or worse, Malik.

Meanwhile, Bakura was having some trouble trying to get the car started, hot wiring looked so much easier in all the movies.

"Damned piece of – I swear to – Oh for Ra's sake, COME ON!"

After 10 minutes of Bakura swearing profanities at the car and Marik looking as if he was a bout to start hyperventilating, the car jumped to life, and then died again. It took Bakura another 15 minutes of more profanities that no child should ever be unfortunate enough to hear to get the car roaring to life and staying that way. Bakura quickly signaled to Marik who couldn't seem to get in the car fast enough and the two yamis were off.

"So according to the plan, we find Yami, chase him preferably run him over a few times and then what?" Asked Marik, looking out the window.

"Well, I haven't quite got to that part yet, I guess we'll just see what happens," Bakura replied, taking his hands off the steering wheel and almost hitting a mother with a stroller. "HEY! Watch where you're going lady!" Yelled Bakura in frustration and then banishing her to the shadow realm, leaving the stroller by itself.

Along the way to Yami and Yugi's place, Bakura and Marik had gotten themselves into a tad bit of trouble. They had effectively run down another 3 cats (what is it with Bakura and cats?), 1 dog and now had 2 police cars chasing them so of course Bakura was once again at a breakneck speed and trying to throw the cops off his and Marik's tail. Unfortunately, all wasn't going to plan.

"Bakura take a left at this corner, we can lose them down the alleys," Marik stated, pointing to a sharp turn up ahead.

"Right-o," Bakura replied and pushed down on the gas even more, only just managing to complete the turn. Marik didn't seem affected, maybe it was because he did this often on his bike.

It took about 5 minutes but they had lost the cops, the only problem was that Bakura and Marik were now stuck in the murderville part of Domino and to top it off they were…lost!

What are our two favourite, sadistic, relatively moronic yamis going to do now?

End of Chapter 3! Hope it was good, please review!


End file.
